UMUC Information and Library Services staff, databases, books, and amenities have been replaced by a state-of-the-art information science machine, the Research-o-Meter, pictured above with its inventor, Dr. Mellotron Foolscap. As Dr. Foolscap explains:
"Students no longer have to undergo the inconvenience of conducting their own research and creating their own ideas. With the Research-o-Meter, students feed a research topic into the machine's splendid digitized neural network, and out comes a research paper. The Research-o-Meter contains all human knowledge as well as significant portions of Wikipedia. For an added fee, students can have the Research-o-Meter format their paper in APA style."
Stephen Miller, former Associate Provost, Information and Library Services, who, thanks to a generous severance package, is currently scuba diving in Waikiki, had this comment: "The ascendancy of artificial intelligence over the human element was inevitable. I'm just glad that the Research-o-Meter is there to serve UMUC students, faculty, and staff, as we mere mortal librarians once did so devotedly."
Image source:
http://blog.lib.umn.edu/lecy0013/architecture/old-computer-thumb.jpg
Happy April 1st from the Library!
